Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 10

Congratulations to Batch 2007 !!! Happy Graduation !!!! Happy Commencement Day !!! Maligayang Pagtatapos !!! Welcome to the world of happily unemployed/employed !!! Good luck to you all !!!

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Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

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"hindi ibig sabihing marami ng labi ang dumampi sa akin ay marumi no...
hindi ibig sabihing marami ng laway ang natikman ko ay wala na akong dangal..."
---kutsara

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Ito ang message na sigurado ifo-forward mo:

"GAGALISIN ANG PUWET NG HULING MAKAKATANGGAP NITO"

yahooo!! Safe na ako... sori na lang sa mga walang load!!!!

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HEADLINE
Dalawang matandang babae... nagjojogging sa plaza.. na-rape!!!

Kinabukasan...Plaza nagkagulo... nagkatraffic..

Dahil libo libong matanda ang ngayon ay nagjojogging!!!

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Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!

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Kadalasan, nakakatakot ang magmahal,
dahil nakakatakot masaktan, mahirap umasa,
nakakatakot ding mapaglaruan.
Pero di ba, mas nakakatakot kapag nalaman mo na kapatid mo pala si mahal?
at tatay mo si dagul?

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Nahuli ni lalaki ang asawa na ka- sex ang kapitbahay!!! Binaril yung kapitbahay, patay!
Wife: Grabe ka naman!!!! Kapag di mo binago ugali mo, mauubos ang mga kapitbahay natin!

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Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

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The only people whom I greet "Good morning"
are those who are smart, cute and malakas ang sex appeal.
So, pano ba yan? E di good afternoon na lang sayo!

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Man to wife on her birthday:
"You can have sex for an hour the way you want it."
Wife jumped up, kissed him and ran out of the house...
"Thank you! Thank you! I'll be back in an hour!"

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I keep on telling my friends about you, how you talk, how you laugh, how you've touched my life. Then, they asked,
"Saan ba makakahanap ng tulad nya?"
I answered, "Mandaluyong, loob, ward 5, kaliwa."

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Kung bola ka, at ako ang player, mashoshoot ba kita?
Hindi, kasi ngayon nga lang namimiss na kita eh!

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Sa buhay, hindi lahat nabibili o ibinibigay.
May gusto tayo na hindi nakukuha, may pangarap na hindi naaabot,
may hiling na hindi natutupad.
Pero kuntento na ako.
Bakit kamo?
Kasi, P6.25 na lang ang Tide, pinalaki pa!!!!

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If you believe in signs ..
in serendipity ..
in destiny ..
in soulmates ..
in love at first sight ..
in eternal love..
Malamang single ka for life!!!!

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Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kailangan kang mamili kung yung taong mahal mo o mahal ka! Hello?! Hindi na uso yun ngayon, ang tanong, "Yummy ba sya?"

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Time can heal all wounds.
Time can give you another chance.
Time can help you forget.
Time can let you move on.
Dati ang alam ko lang eh, “time is gold!” improving!!!

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Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagseselos ako kapag may ibang nagpapangiti at nagpapasaya sa 'yo.
Hindi naman siguro sa makasarili ako kundi natatakot lang ako na sa sobrang kasiyahan mo, lumobo ang sipon mo!!!!

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ERAP: anak, ilan ba ang diyos??
JINGGOY: dad, isa lang ang diyos. Bakit mo naitanong??
ERAP: eh bakit may extra joss??

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Pratatatat!!! Kaboom!!! Kablaaam!!! Weewee!!! Wangwang!!! Pratatatat!!!
Sugod mga cute!!! Itext ang mga pangit!!! Yes sir!!!
Ito, tinext ko na yung isa, lider ata nila.

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Tags:
funny pinoy jokes, funny pinoy sms text messages, pinoy funny sms text jokes, tagalog funny text txt jokes