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Saturday, January 27, 2007

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 8

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Maligayang Araw ng mga Puso !!!! Happy Valentines Day !!!!

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This message is strictly for CUTE and CHARMING persons only… since you received this message… we deeply apologize for the disturbance due to technical error… Happy Valentine's day !!!

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A lawyer driving on a hi-way notices a crowd in an intersection. With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action.. He shouted, "im the son of the victim." upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through. there he saw, bloody and helpless lying infront of the people. A pig bumped by a trailer truck.

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When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive. Never try to give up on life. Why? Come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm ma-reach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka!!

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We are born beautiful… Some were just born…
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A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy. The baby asked, "does this mean I'm an angel?" fairy laughs, "of course not!!!! negrang to!!!. ambisyosa! paniki ka!!!"

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A fat farmer was in the RestRoom trying to flush his shit when suddenly the toilet bowl broke and bursted…. The shit flooded into the wheatfields then POOF!!! it became koko krunch!

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A lizard fell on a table.
Genius: "Oh reptila scincidae"
Kikay: "eew lizard"
Astig: "Shit butiki"
Mataray: "Shucks, tiki."
Mayaman: "Yuck Lacoste."
Mahirap: "Pare! ulam!!"

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A couple at the wishing well.Husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin.
Wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns.
Husband: "hala! bilis naman!"

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Galing ako sa ospital.. Sabi ng doctor.. may complication daw ako sa puso… Dalawa raw options ko… Either ICU or U C me… Happy Valentines Day !!!

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Bakit kaya ang daming manhid sa paligid?
Nagparamdam ka na nga…
Hindi ka pa rin pinapansin!!!
Kulang na lang kalabitin mo at sabihing…“hello… VIRGIN pa ako” Habulin mo ko!!!!

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Question: Sino ang kauna-unahang lalaking tanga sa mundo???
Answer: Si Adan!! Biro mo may katabing hubad na babae… ang kinain yung APPLE!!!

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Hindi ko alam ano papel ko sa buhay mo…
Sa pagkatao mo…
O sa puso mo…
Meron man o wala….
Hindi ako papel…
Tao ako dude!!!!

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“Siguro nga hanggang dito na lang.
Siguro nga hindi na ko magiging sentro ng atensyon mo.
Ok lang, masaya na akong nasa gilid lang ako ng paningin mo.”
-Muta.

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“Alam kong may gusto ka sa akin.
Bakit di mo pa ako seryosohin?
Pero gusto ko malaman mo na hindi ako easy2get.Ngayong sem, gawin mo ang lahat para makuha ako!”
-UNO.

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Sa isang mumurahing airline.
STEWARDESS: sir, would you like some dinner??
PASSENGER: ano ba ang choices??
STEWARDESS: yes or no lang po!!

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Problemado ka ba? At walang pera? Eto ang sagot diyan! Just text NANAYPENGEPERA Ang dali diba?

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Sabi ng hangin, mabait ka.
Sabi ng dagat, matalino ka.
Sabi ng ilog at bundok, cute ka.
Tama nga sila!!!
Sirang-sira na ang kalikasan!!! Happy Valentines Day!!!!

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MISIS: hindi ko na kaya ito! Araw-araw na lang tayo nag-aaway! Mabuti pa, umalis na ko sa bahay na ito!
MISTER: ako rin sawang sawa na. Away dito away doon! Mabuti pa siguro sumama na ko sayo!

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Ang MAYABANG mahal ka na ayaw pang aminin.
Ang TORPE mahal ka na ayaw pang sbihin.
Ang PAKIPOT mahal na ayaw pang sagutin.
Pero ang TANGA, nakita ng my sasakyan, tumawid pa.

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Sabi nila, kapag magkatabi daw tayo, nagmumukha daw akong magsasaka. Nagalit at naasar ako, sabi ko, “bkit naman?” kase daw mukha ka daw kalabaw.

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Sometimes you can’t help but think “bakit wala nagrereply?” then you’ll ask yourself, “wala ba nagmamahal sa akin?” don’t worry coz in the end you’ll realize, “yes, ako na lng ang unli sa mundo ngaun!”

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Minsan napapaisip ako.. huwag mo kong madaliin! Nagiisip nga eh!

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Bawat kabataan may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa jowa. Magalit man parents mo, sbihin mo, “sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!” sabay takbo!

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Girl: judge, ni rape po ako doon sa library.
Judge: aba lintik naman! Daming tao sa library di ka sumigaw?
Girl: di po, kasi merong sign na “SILENCE PLEASE.”

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Paano kung ayaw sayo ng crush mo?
Gnito, txt mo siya kung “ano english ng mhal kita?” reply niya, “I love you.”
Reply ka rin ng, “I love you too!” eh di kayo na!!

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Ang gabi ay itim. Sa labas ay madilim. Tumingin ka man, cguradong madilim. Buksan mo man ang yong mga mata, kulay itim. Nangangahulugan, ang madilim ay itim. Huh?

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A husband coming from a confession and lifts his wife and carries her on his shoulder.
WIFE: Did the priest tell you to be so romantic like dis?
HUSBAND: No, He told me to carry my cross.

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3 comments:

cgullan said...

ang gaganda po ng jowks mo nakakatwawa.. sana mrami kapang jokes at agpatuloy to

mary joy urbano said...

maganda ung iba .. ung iba aman .. corny !!

ANALOU said...

NAG AWAY KAMI NG ASAWA KO,,TAPOS BINASA KO MGA JOKES MO,,NAPATAWA AKO,,PATI NA DIN ASAWA KO,,WAAAHAHAHAHA,,LOVE IT..