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Friday, April 25, 2008

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 36

though peace

though peace is very important in our lives

cause without thought peace

paano tayo makakapag thought brass!!!

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Magsyota naglalakad sa park
GF: hon, naiihi ako
BF: ok.. dyan ka na lang sa damuhan...(habang umiihi kinapa kapa ni bf ang legs ni gf ng may nahawakan siyang mahaba sa gitna ng legs)
BF: Pucha!!! nagpalit ka ba ng kasarian??
GF: Ulol!! nagpalit lang ako ng desisyon... dudumi na lang ako!!!

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Luv U!!!

pag mahal mo siya.. sabihan mo kahit alam mong walang kapalit yun.
Ang mahalaga nalaman niya...
at kung magalit siya.. sabihin mo:




NAGKAMALI LANG NG SEND.. PAKYU!!!!

Taenang ito!!! yabang!!!!

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A riddle that will kill your brain

there are only 3 words in the english language that ends in "gry"
1 is ANGRY and the other is HUNGRY
Everyone knows what the 3rd one means and what it stands for
Everyone uses then everyday and if you listen to me carefully, i've given you the third word already.. what is it??_ _ _ gry!!! No reply no IQ

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a man killed a DEER. Cooked it but didnt tell his kids what it was.. He gave a clue "ganyan ang twag sa kin ng mama nyo"

the girl cries out "wag nyo kainin!! DEMONYO yan!!!"

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keep your optimism...


after all....


no one has ever damaged his eyesight by looking at the brighter side of life...

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words to live by ng mga tamad:

"whenever i feel like cleaning my room...

i lie down until the feelin is gone"

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Pare 1: noong buntis ang misis ko.. paborito nya ang Lord of the Rings 2 Towers.. ayun.. kambal anak namin...
Pare 2: ang misis ko.. paborito nya yung The 3 Musketeers.. ayun.. triplets anak namin..
Biglang nanghina yung isang kumpare nila...
Pare 1 at 2: Bakit?? ano bang paborito ng misis mo??

Pare 3: 300!!!

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@ a bar...
Girl: whoever can use the words LIVER and CHEESE with style will be my date tonight..
Piolo: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me...
Sam: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love u...
Pacman: Hey!!!! you two!! liver alone!! cheese mine!!!

dale ni pacman!!!

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Girl language
if i dont call you (its because im waiting for you to call me)
when i walk away from you mad ( follow me)
when i stare at your mouth(kiss me)
when i push or hit you(grab me and dont let go)
when im quiet(ask me whats wrong!!)
when i ignore you(give me your attention)
when i pull away(pull me back)
when you see me at my worst(tell me im beautiful)
when you see me start crying(hold me and tell me everything will be alright)
in short:
(kung walang babae.. walang maarte)...
hahahaha

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Funny SMS Text Message from 0905333****, 0927233****, 0915673****, 0915298****

Monday, April 14, 2008

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 35

makabagong kasabihan:

"aanhin mo ang taong maganda...

kung siya ay pumapangit pag katabi ko na?!!"

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Binata: ale, liligawan ko po ang anak nyo
Ale: wag muna, nag-aaral pa siya
Binata: Sige po kapag uwian na lang nila!!! :)

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Mansanas pantalon,
ang sapatos may buhok(may buhok)..
lahat sila nakatingin na sa iyo (sa iyo)
Ay nadapa! (ay nadapa)
bigla bigla, nagspageti pababa ba ba ba ba...
Pawis na at kupas, ang sapatos may sintas(may sintas!!)
paikot ikot puwet pinalong malakas(malakas!!)
Ay nadapa(ay nadapa)
Bigla bigla nagspagetti pababa ba ba ba ba....

"low"- flo rida
tagalog version

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Spanish Poem

el papa la bomba
y mama de cama
tres beses birada
contodo romansa
el papa pagod na
la mama gusto pa
el papa tacas na
porque te-te lambot na

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Boy to his crush

Boy: alam mo ba hindi tayo tao hindi rin tayo hayop??
Girl: huh?? eh ano tayo??
Boy: BAGAY tayo...

Naks hahahaha....

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kakaiba na talaga ang tao ngayon
nasa loob ako ng church kanina
nasa harap ko ang isang babae
at the middle of the mass she lights a cigarette
nashock ako!!!
natapon ko tuloy ang redhorse ko!!!!

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Pedro: ang galing ng lolo ko hindi nag-uulam tuwing almusal!!!
Juan: ano ba yang lolo mo!!! lolo ko gatas lang ang almusal!!!
Totoy: ano ba yang mga lolo nyo?? mga patay gutom!!! lolo ko hinde na nagaalmusal
Pedro at juan: bakit?? sino ba yung lolo mo??
Totoy: ang lolo ko ay si eagleman!!! hindi nagbrebreakfast si eagleman!!!

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Mister: adik talaga ako dito sa alimango
Misis: naku ingat ka sa cholesterol niyan!!! may kilala ako sa tondo na kumain ng tatlong matatabang alimango na puro aligue habang nakikipaginuman
Mister: talaga!!! tapos ano nangyari??
Misis: lumabas lang siya sandali para jumingle ayun bigla na lang bumulagta patay na!!!
Mister: inatake sa puso??
Misis: hindi, sinaksak ng adik!!! marami talagang loko dyan sa Tondo!!!

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Girl: tikman mo itong cake masarap!! gawa ng nanay ko
Boy: ikaw na lang titikman ko!! tutal gawa ka rin naman ng nanay mo

hehehe.. yan ang banat!!!!

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Love starts with a smile...
Grows with a kiss..
Ends with tears...

Yun lang!!!

ano pa gusto mo??

may sex tapos magkakababy pa??

Ugali mo talaga!!! wag ganun!!! hehehehe...


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NBI Clearance Applicant: Sir available na ba clearance ko??

NBI: Followup mo na lang after 5 days may kapangalan ka kasi eh

Applicant: Huh?? sino?? ano pangalan???

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Funny Pinoy Text Messages from 0915569****,0927325****, 0915673****

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 34

How would Newton explain "falling in love"
its like two marbles that fall in different ways
Once free fall theres no initial force it just go with gravity
Which one will reach the land first?

Like fallin in love
Which of the two will end sooner??

Love that you feel freely?
or love that you forced to feel??

Oha oha!!! sino nagsabi na bagsak ako sa physics...

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Love just one person...


And just taste the rest....

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Nahihiya ako sa yo......

Kasi madalang kita matxt

Busy kasi ako masyado

ikaw???

Bakit hindi mo ako tinetext??

hindi ka ba nahihiya???

Artista pa nagtetext sa yo??!!!

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A Mom called his son...

Mom: Pauwi ka na ba?? Asan ka na???
Son: andito po ako sa hospital...
His Mom cried: Ano nangyari sa yo????
Son: Nay, Nurse kaya ako!! sabog ka ba???

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Tanong:
Ano ang tawag sa leader ng mga saging????
Siret??
Sagot: Banana chip!!! hehehehe....

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Preso sa silya elektrika:
Warden, may last request po ako...
Warden: ano yun???
Preso: hawakan nyo naman kamay ko.. moral support ba!!!

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"i did it mom!!!
I played with my boyfriend...
i got stinky...
i got flirty, i trade my sandwiches for a kiss!!!
We got dirty!!!
We tried and tried mom, til we reach the top!!!
I got pregnant ...
But see???
I learned...
Sorry na ha!!!

Kalanding bata!!!!

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Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life....

---rules sa patintero

Make sense hindi ba??

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May mga tanong at sgot na hindi magkatugma pero tinatanggap natin ang sagot.
Gaya nito:

Tanong: asan ang nana mo?
Sagot: bakit ho??

Tanong: anong gagawin natin???
Sagot: ikaw??

Tanong: love mo ba ako???
Sagot: ang corny mo!!!

Tanong: asan ka??
Sagot: papunta na!!!

Tanong: Kumain ka na??
Sagot: busog pa ako eh!!!

Tanong: asan na yung wallet ko??
Sagot: nahulog mo lang yun!!!

Tanong: anong trabaho ng nanay mo?
Sagot: sa bahay lang.

Eto hindi tanong:

Pare 1: Ganda ng polo mo ah
Pare 2: A eto? Bigay lang ito!!!

Gulo noh???
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Truth about kissing

Do you know that the scientific name for kissing is Philematology. The scientific way to describe it is the anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscle in a state of contraction. You burn 26 calories in a 1 minute kiss... its a great cardiovascular workout coz when you kiss you release adrenaline into the bloodstream and your heart pumps more blood around your bode and can slow the aging process by toning your cheeks and jaw muscles!!!

yun na yun!!! hindi puro kahalayan!!!!

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Piolo: i just need five things to live....

Some friends...

Some food...

Some work...

Some love....

and...

Some...

some Milby....

4ever!!!

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Paano kung tamad na akong tamarin???

eh d ang sipag ko na nun??

ayoko nun...

nakakatamad!!!

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Why do cows get pikon after being milked??

Kahit sino naman eh!!! ikaw na ang gisingin ng 4am

Lamasin yung dede mo ng two hours tapos hindi ka naman pala ise-sex!!!

Nakakapikon hindi ba!!!

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Host: Identify an organ in the human body that starts with the letter "L"

Little Ms. Philippines: The Lungs!!!! without it we cannot breathe

Ms Gay: the Liver!! without it our body will weaken because the liver cleanses the system

Bb Pilipinas World: im only 17 yrs old and my answer is the L-Bow!!! Oh my God!!! hahahaha!!! Im sorry!! without it we cannot spread our wings and fly... Butterfly!!! I told you i was confident!!!

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Pinoy Text Jokes from 0916625****, 0927660****,0906222****, 0917856****,0915298****,0915673****