"filipino class"
Guro: juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay...
Juan: Ahem. " ang tatay ay nadapa.. Tayo tay!! tayo tay!!!"
------------------------------------------------------
ang pagkakaibigan...
parang bulate sa puwet hindi mo makikita yun...
pero ikaw lang ang nakakadama ng kiliti nito...
salamat ha!!! dahil isa kang bulate sa puwet ko !!!
ang kati mo friend!!!
-------------------------------------------------------
kung pangarap mong mahalin ka ng isang tao ng totoo at tunay at hindi ka lolokohin...
Txt mo si Prospero Pichay!!!
Pangarap niyang tuparin ang pangarap mo!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
There was a mommy fish who got separated from her baby fish...
When they saw each other again after a very long time..
the mommy fish said to the baby fish...
ISDA you?? :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mahirap isipin at pag-isipan na ang taon iniisip mo ay hindi man lang lubos na makaisip na isipin ka...
naisip mo ba ang nais ipaisip ng isip ko??
Pag-isipan mo baka sakaling maisip mong isipin ako...
------------------------------------------------------------
kapag maraming ngaaway sau...
tawagin mo lng ako at sabay natin sabhin ang...
kapangyarihan ng taba...
taglay ay mantika..
kambal na biik..
kami ang....SUPER PIGS!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Minsan pagsapit ng umaga...
nakakasawa na yung mga bati na...
Gud am!!!
Eat your breakfast!!!
or Have a nice day!!!
para maiba naman
kape tau kahit tig-isang Timba lang :)
-----------------------------------------------------------
May 7 baboy sa 1 box..
may 23 pairs na pato at isang pusa...
ang isang pato ay nakakain ng 56 na uod...
tapos may 5 langgamew
Relax!!! walang tanong... Gandang umaga!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Newly wed
Wife: ang liit ng bird mo hon!! may tattoo na ELMO, sakto lang mga letra...
Husband: maliit ba?? patigasin mo at basahin mo agad!!
Wife: Oh Shit!!! ELfilibusterisMO!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
In a classy bar
German: waiter, REMY Martin, single!!!
French: Waiter, Carlo Rossi!!! double!!!
Pinoy: waiter, PoPOY Dimaunat!!! married!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Love.....
Love.....
Love....
IPASOK mo na....
Cge na...
Bilisan mo!!!
Bilis... basa na!!!!
basang basa na!!
Ipasok mo na....
Ipasok mo na...
ang mga sinampay!!!
Lakas ng ulan ah oh!!
------------------------------------------------------------------
isang araw nakita kita umiiyak sa ulan...
sumigaw ako sabi ko...
"Umalis ka jan!!!"
sabi mo
"wla kang pakialam!!! Dito lang ako!!!"
tumawa ako sabay sabi...
"bahala ka!!!! iyong titi mo!!! bakat na!!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
Contribution by +6392721***, naidz
A collection of Pinoy Jokes | Funny Pinoy SMS Text Messages | Pinoy Funny SMS Text Jokes | Tagalog Funny Text TXT Jokes since 1996
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Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 13
PINOY SIGNS
Posted outside a house in Jaro, Iloilo :
HOURSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED
(Boy, it must really be hot in there.)
On a glass window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan :
WE SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU WAIT
Posted at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHULI, BOG-BOG!
On the fence of a makeshift parking lot in Pasay :
PARKING PEE: P10
Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City :
We Almost Have Complete Set of Gym Equipments
(Now, how's that for truth in advertising?)
In a supermarket in Baguio :
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE
Outside a flower shop along Avenida Rizal:
WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS
In a bowling center in Congressional:
PARKING FOR COSTUMERS ONLY
In a restaurant in Cebu :
WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL
On the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue near National Bookstore (but this was a long time ago):
WANTED: WAITER, CASHIER, WASHIER
In San Andres, Manila :
NO URINATION ON THE OVER WALLS
In a classified ads section:
WANTED SALESLADY, 20-25 YEARS OLD, PROBABLY SINGLE
Outside a sari-sari store in front of Green Valley in Baguio :
NO CRIDET
In a building in Cubao:
NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY
Outside a videoke bar in Pampanga:
WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE
The name of a laundry shop in Bo. Kapitolyo in Pasig :
CINNAVON
On the gate of a house in Tarlac:
COLD ICED BUKO 4 SALE
Posted outside a beauty shop in Laguna:
WE ALSO DO FULL BODY MESSAGE
In Tiaong, Quezon:
ROAN'S CONTRACTION SUPPLIES
Outside a shoe store in Pangasinan:
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES
In a restaurant in Baguio :
WANTED: BOY WAITRESS
--------------------------------------------------------
Names of Philippine business establishments
If you still speak some Filipino, you might enjoy the humor; otherwise, pass it on to your Filipino-speaking friends. The humor gets lost in the translation
Bread Pitt is a a bakery.
Maruya Carey is a a fast-food place selling turon and maruya in Greenbelt , Makati
Caintacky Fried Chicken is a an eatery in Cainta, Rizal.
Mang Donald's is a a burger joint at the Naga City plaza.
Candies Be Love? Can anything be sweeter than this?
Doris Day and Night is a a 24-hour eatery.
Babalik Karinderia is obvious.
Holland Hopia is owned by Mr. Ho.
and next-door neighbor Poland Hopia is owned by Mr. Po. in Chinatown
Miki Mao is a a noodle house.
Tapsi Turbi is a a tapa house.
Cleopata's is a a manukan and bakahan.
Goto Heaven is obvious.
The Fried of Marikina is a a fried chicken house.
Wrap and Roll is a a lumpia outlet at the Quad, Makati .
Pansit ng taga-Malaboni is a a panciteria on Boni Avenue , Mandaluyong.
Side-saki is a a side street eatery beside Mandarin Oriental in Makati .
Let's Goat-Together is a kambingan-cum-beer garden.
Meating Place is a a meat shop.
Meatropolis is a another meat shop.
Isda best,
Pusit to the limit,
and Hipon coming back
are entrees on the menu of a seafood restaurant.
Cinna Von is a laundromat.
Pier Carding is a a tailoring shop in Pier, Manila .
The Way We Wear is a boutique.
Curl Up and Dye is a a beauty salon.
Goldilooks is a barber shop.
Bote Nga Sa 'Yo is a used bottle shop.
Goldirocks is a gravel and sand shop.
Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits is a video rental shop in Palawan .
Leon King is a Video Rental in Las Piñas.
Memory Drug is a clone of Mercury Drug.
Petal Attraction is a flower shop near UP Diliman.
Susan's Roses is a flower shop, but of course!
Maid to Order is a maid-placement agency.
Singalong Sing-along is a karaoke bar in Singalong (where else?).
----------------------------------------------------------
Signs seen on jeepneys:
A commuter is a jeepsetter
Pull string to stop driver.
God knows Hudas not pay.
Don't get close to me, get close to God.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Bakit daw ang utak nasa ulo at ang puso ay nasa dibdib??
Simple lang…
Panget kasi tingnan kapag in-love ka tapos tumitibok ang noo mo…
At ang laswa naman..
Kapag nag-iisip /nahihilo ka tapos hinihimas mo ang dede mo.. hehehehe…
------------------------------------------------------------
Ayon sa SWS, mas kaunti raw ang nagugutom ngayon kaysa nang magsimula si GMA.,,
Kung noo 5 out of 10 ang gutom, ngayon tatlo na lang.. Patay na po ang dalawa.!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Bakit dahan-dahang binubuksan ni Pedro ang medicine cabinet??
Baka kase magising ang mga sleeping pills!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Kaytagal ko ng hinintay at hinanap ang isang tulad mo..
Akala ko pa nga hindi na kita makikita…
Pero salamat na lang at dumating ka para magbigay ng sigla..
Kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng frend na mukhang tanga!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ang love daw ay parang ngipin
minsan masakit
minsan duguan
parang utot minsan nalilihim
minsan nbubuko..
at parang kulangot, hindi mo malalaman kung ano lasa kung hindi mo titikman!!! Tae sa knila na ung love nila!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Kung gaano kabilis ang takbo ng mundo siya naming bagal ng mga pangyayari sa buhay ko.
Kaya heto naiwan ako.
Pero OK lang yun basta may kaibigan akong tulad mo.
Na nangungulelat at wala sa wisyo!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Contributor 0917534****, naidz
Posted outside a house in Jaro, Iloilo :
HOURSE FOR RENT, FULLY FURNACED
(Boy, it must really be hot in there.)
On a glass window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan :
WE SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU WAIT
Posted at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
BAWAL OMEHI DITO, ANG MAHULI, BOG-BOG!
On the fence of a makeshift parking lot in Pasay :
PARKING PEE: P10
Printed on a streamer in front of a gym in Lucena City :
We Almost Have Complete Set of Gym Equipments
(Now, how's that for truth in advertising?)
In a supermarket in Baguio :
FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE
Outside a flower shop along Avenida Rizal:
WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS
In a bowling center in Congressional:
PARKING FOR COSTUMERS ONLY
In a restaurant in Cebu :
WE HAB SOP-DRINK IN CAN AN IN BATOL
On the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue near National Bookstore (but this was a long time ago):
WANTED: WAITER, CASHIER, WASHIER
In San Andres, Manila :
NO URINATION ON THE OVER WALLS
In a classified ads section:
WANTED SALESLADY, 20-25 YEARS OLD, PROBABLY SINGLE
Outside a sari-sari store in front of Green Valley in Baguio :
NO CRIDET
In a building in Cubao:
NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY
Outside a videoke bar in Pampanga:
WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE
The name of a laundry shop in Bo. Kapitolyo in Pasig :
CINNAVON
On the gate of a house in Tarlac:
COLD ICED BUKO 4 SALE
Posted outside a beauty shop in Laguna:
WE ALSO DO FULL BODY MESSAGE
In Tiaong, Quezon:
ROAN'S CONTRACTION SUPPLIES
Outside a shoe store in Pangasinan:
WE SELL IMPORTED ROBBER SHOES
In a restaurant in Baguio :
WANTED: BOY WAITRESS
--------------------------------------------------------
Names of Philippine business establishments
If you still speak some Filipino, you might enjoy the humor; otherwise, pass it on to your Filipino-speaking friends. The humor gets lost in the translation
Bread Pitt is a a bakery.
Maruya Carey is a a fast-food place selling turon and maruya in Greenbelt , Makati
Caintacky Fried Chicken is a an eatery in Cainta, Rizal.
Mang Donald's is a a burger joint at the Naga City plaza.
Candies Be Love? Can anything be sweeter than this?
Doris Day and Night is a a 24-hour eatery.
Babalik Karinderia is obvious.
Holland Hopia is owned by Mr. Ho.
and next-door neighbor Poland Hopia is owned by Mr. Po. in Chinatown
Miki Mao is a a noodle house.
Tapsi Turbi is a a tapa house.
Cleopata's is a a manukan and bakahan.
Goto Heaven is obvious.
The Fried of Marikina is a a fried chicken house.
Wrap and Roll is a a lumpia outlet at the Quad, Makati .
Pansit ng taga-Malaboni is a a panciteria on Boni Avenue , Mandaluyong.
Side-saki is a a side street eatery beside Mandarin Oriental in Makati .
Let's Goat-Together is a kambingan-cum-beer garden.
Meating Place is a a meat shop.
Meatropolis is a another meat shop.
Isda best,
Pusit to the limit,
and Hipon coming back
are entrees on the menu of a seafood restaurant.
Cinna Von is a laundromat.
Pier Carding is a a tailoring shop in Pier, Manila .
The Way We Wear is a boutique.
Curl Up and Dye is a a beauty salon.
Goldilooks is a barber shop.
Bote Nga Sa 'Yo is a used bottle shop.
Goldirocks is a gravel and sand shop.
Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits is a video rental shop in Palawan .
Leon King is a Video Rental in Las Piñas.
Memory Drug is a clone of Mercury Drug.
Petal Attraction is a flower shop near UP Diliman.
Susan's Roses is a flower shop, but of course!
Maid to Order is a maid-placement agency.
Singalong Sing-along is a karaoke bar in Singalong (where else?).
----------------------------------------------------------
Signs seen on jeepneys:
A commuter is a jeepsetter
Pull string to stop driver.
God knows Hudas not pay.
Don't get close to me, get close to God.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Bakit daw ang utak nasa ulo at ang puso ay nasa dibdib??
Simple lang…
Panget kasi tingnan kapag in-love ka tapos tumitibok ang noo mo…
At ang laswa naman..
Kapag nag-iisip /nahihilo ka tapos hinihimas mo ang dede mo.. hehehehe…
------------------------------------------------------------
Ayon sa SWS, mas kaunti raw ang nagugutom ngayon kaysa nang magsimula si GMA.,,
Kung noo 5 out of 10 ang gutom, ngayon tatlo na lang.. Patay na po ang dalawa.!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Bakit dahan-dahang binubuksan ni Pedro ang medicine cabinet??
Baka kase magising ang mga sleeping pills!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Kaytagal ko ng hinintay at hinanap ang isang tulad mo..
Akala ko pa nga hindi na kita makikita…
Pero salamat na lang at dumating ka para magbigay ng sigla..
Kasi gusto kong magkaroon ng frend na mukhang tanga!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ang love daw ay parang ngipin
minsan masakit
minsan duguan
parang utot minsan nalilihim
minsan nbubuko..
at parang kulangot, hindi mo malalaman kung ano lasa kung hindi mo titikman!!! Tae sa knila na ung love nila!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Kung gaano kabilis ang takbo ng mundo siya naming bagal ng mga pangyayari sa buhay ko.
Kaya heto naiwan ako.
Pero OK lang yun basta may kaibigan akong tulad mo.
Na nangungulelat at wala sa wisyo!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
Contributor 0917534****, naidz
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