Manghuhula: Magiging mapalad ka sa larangan ng sex.
Duduy: Wow!!! ibig nyong sabihin, marami akong makakasex???
Manghuhula: Hindi. Palad mo lang lagi ang makakasex mo!!!
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Lalaki 1 : anong hayop ang in na in??
Lalaki 2: ano??
Lalaki 1: Bear...
Lalaki 2 : bakit bear??
Lalaki 1: kc OSO... pare OSO...
Lalaki 2 : ngehhh!!! mamatay ka sa kakornihan
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Therapist: To what animal do you compare your penis???
Juan: Lion!!! its strong!!!
Pedro: giraffe!!! coz its long
Boy: Mouse!!!
Juan and Pedro: What??? Why mouse???
Boy: Coz its chased by pussies!!!
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Pare 1: Ang gara ng sapatos mo pare!!!
Pare 2: Sorpresa ng misis ko..
Pare 1: saan nabili??
Pare 2: ewan ko!!! nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama kaninang umaga, may medyas pa nga eh!!!
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Host: ilang taon na kayo lolo??mananawagan ba kayo??
Lolo: opo, 98 na po...
Host: Wow, tanda niyo na pala... sige po manawagan na kayo..
Lolo: kuya, umuwi ka na.. hindi na galit si daddy sa yo!!!
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In the middle of a baptismal rite, the bishop officiating said:
"ang lambot ng ulo ng bata"
The pretty mother replied:
"Father, dede ko yan!!!!"
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Reporter: Manny, anong bill ang gagawin mo kapag congressman ka na???
Manny: Anong bill??yung tomotonog pagkatapos ng bawat round sa bukseng???
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Isang araw, may isang Ponkan at isang apple sa loob ng ref.
Sabi ng apple.. WWWuuuu ang lammmeeegggg!!!
napasigaw si ponkan... wwwwaaahhhhh!!!!! nagsasalita yung mansanas!!!!
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Speaker: who among you had experienced habing SEX with a ghost???
A farmer raised his hand.
Speaker: Really???!!! how does it feel to have sex with a ghost??
Farmer: ay puta!!! akala ko GOATS!!!
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Klase ng mga mag-iinom
PASSAGE - mahilig mag-pass ng tagay
THE HIKER – palipat lipat ng puwesto, iwas tagay
THE MARTYR – nagpapanggap na kaya pa kahit senglot na
KID SENTI – madaming naaalala pag nakainom na
THE FUGITIVE - umuuwi ng walang paalam naglalahong parang bula
KUNG FU – KUNG FUmulutan malupet, tirador ng pulutan, ginagawang picnic
THE CHOSEN ONE – Official runner ng tindahan, bili yelo, yosi, alak
DEADMAN DRINKER – unang nalalasing
THE ORIGINALS – lage mong katagay
Ikaw??? Anong klase ka??
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May nakikita sa akin sa dalampasigan…
“malungkot at nag-iisa”
Sabi niya..
“ kung mahal mo siya bakit hindi mo ipadama”
Sumagot ako..
“Adik ka ba??? Naiwan ako sa outing!!!
Mahal ka dyan!!!!”
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Lola: sino yang kasama mo??!!!
Apo: BF ko po!!!!
Lola: aba bata ka pa.. lumalandi ka na.. pasok sa loob!!! At ikaw lalaki…
“DONCHA WISH UR GELPREN WAS HOT LIKE ME.. DONCHA BABY!!!”
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Friendship between Women: a woman did’nt come home one night, told husband that she had slept at her friends house. Husband called 10 of her friends but all said: “ no she wasn’t here”
Friendship between men: A man didn’t come home one night, told wife he had slept at a buddy’s place. Wife called 10 of his friends, 8 of them confirmed he had slept over and 2 even claimed he was still there!!!...
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Getting angry is punishing yourself with the mistakes of others. So keep away from anger coz you’ll get wrinkles!! Tingnan mo ang betlog kulubot kc katabi niya galit palagi….
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Anak: tay wala na naman tayo ulam ah…
AMA: mahirap ngayon ang buhay anak.. tiis muna tayo, isipin mo na lang bawat subo mo na sasabihin ko ulam yun anak…
Anak: Sige tay!!!
AMA: nilagang baboy!!!
Anak: hhhmmmm.. sarap…
Ama: sisig na isda!!!
Anak: huhuhuhuhuh L
AMA: bakit ka umiyak!!!
Anak: ang anghang tay!!!
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Tinanong ko ang lolo ko…
“masakit po ba talaga ang magmahal ng lubos??”
Ang sabi ni lolo,
"Apo, rich tayo.. ayos lang magmahal ang pulbos"
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Contribution by: 0921248****, 0921233****, 0927672****
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