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Saturday, June 16, 2007

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 17

A father was trying to teach his son about the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whisky. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whisky curld up and died.

Father: all right son, what have you learned from the show???
Son: Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, hindi ka magkakabulate!!!!

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Mister: (kissing wife's shoulder) hon, sige na
Misis: (nairita) bumabagyo!!!
Mister: ayaw mo yun?? malamig!!!
Misis: tanga!!! hindi ka na nahiya!! andaming tao dito sa evacuation center!!!

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Hello!!! Kumusta?? Badtrip ako... baliw yata yung kapitbahay namin.. sigaw ng sigaw, nagwawala talaga!!!.. tapos hindi ako makatulog kasi sumisigaw pa... sabi

"Kahit picture mo lang (your name here)!!! maawa ka naman!!!"

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Anak: mommy kinakain ba ang "shit"???
Mommy: ha?? bakit mo naman naitanong anak???
Anak: kasi kagabi nadinig kita... sabi mo kay daddy...

"SHIT!!! ang sarap!!!"

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Take care of your teeth!!!
Losin your teeth lessens sex drive!!!
According to Chinese, "pak kaw wala ipen, wala kan tooth!!!"
So ingatz of your teeth para melon kan tooth!!!

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Wasari
amusar
bikulom
de amunar
talaspaku
amunar
hom ir
de pekre
al madukurar
hom hom
puran!!!


Binasa mo???!!!
Orasyon yan pampakapal ng bulbol!!! heheheheh!!!

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Juana: Mare, sama ka sa paluwagan namin??? kulang na lang kami ng isa...
Jing: ayaw ko mare...
Juana: bakit naman???
Jing: ayaw ko... kasi virgin pa ako!!

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Amazona: Sa wakas!!! Ako huli din lalaki!!! tagal na hindi ako tikim titi!!!
Bihag: Wow, swerte!!!! Ang seseksi nila!!!
Amazona: Hugas nyo mabuti titi bago iihaw!!!

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Misis: honey, bago mo ako naging asawa, ilan ang naging chicks mo???
Mister: selos ka lang!! huwag na!!
Misis: sige na!!!
Mister: kulit mo!! oh sige, there was 1,2,3,4,5, ikaw, then, 7,8,9..

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INRITS YUR BOCABOLARY: by Manny Pacquiao

TACTICS: tunog ng orasan

PAYT: laban para sa Pinoy

TAYTOL: pamagat ng laban

JENGKEH: name ng dyowa niya

NO PEER: sponsor nya

MOTOR KID: pag-ikot niya sa Maynila

CHECK IN: manok sa McDo

CORRUPT: pagsara ng mata

BARIRA: nakalaban niya

WIT: timbang

WAWAWE: noontime show

DUET: gawin mo

L.A.: Leto Atsensya!!

QOUTES: tawag niya kay Freddie!!!

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Girl: nakipagbreak ka na raw sa BF mo??
Girl2: oo hindi kasi sanay humalik kainis.. hindi lang yun.. isang style lang ang alam.. hindi ko ma-feel...
Girl:ano style ba alam ng BF mo??
Girl2: Flying kiss!!!

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Nung umalis ka
ayoko sanang habulin ka pa...
Tiniis ko sarili ko..
Pero sa bandang huli..
hindi ko pala kaya...
Hinabol kita...
sabay sigaw...
"Sa kabila ang daan!!! lasing ka na naman!!!"

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Si Juan ay asar na asar na sa kanyang buhay at nagtangkang magpakamatay. Umakyat siya sa pinakamataas na building. Nang marating niya ang edge ng rooftop, tumingin siya sa baba... "ang taas!!!!" sigay niya... nagdalawang isip siya at nagpray.. "Lord, itutuloy ko pa ba??? Please give me a sign" Pag-open niya ng eyes, nakita niya ang napakalaking billboard!!!

"Nike: Just do It!!!!"

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Filipino Funny Text messages from 0919567****,0920437****,0927672****


1 comment:

Neil G. Alado said...

Hi,

I know its not the right place to ask you for a backlink but i dont have any means to contact you.

I have added you in my site links (http://philippine-textmates.blogspot.com) if you are interested to exchange link with me just add a link to my site.

If possible named it as "Pinoy Textmate Portal" andemail me at s9701912_lien@yahoo.com if you have added my site to your site links.

Thank You.