Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 66

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Mom:anak lu2in m0 2ng gulay..

Anak:mmaya n gngwa ko pa 2ng saranggola..

Mom:punyeta bkt mkakain mu b ung saranggola mu?.!

Anak:hndi bkt lilipad b ynggulay mu?!..

Mom:hndi..

Anak:hndi pla eh.. umayos k nay kung ayaw mung kw pliparin ko...

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SEXY:
Doc
mainit
puet ko,
DR:
Lagyan
natin ng thermometer,
SEXY:
Hiya
ako
Doc,
DR:
Off
ko
ilaw,
SEXY:
Doc
di yan
puet ahh!
DR:
Sige lang,
di rin ito thermomter.

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Sir: Inday wla maam mo,dun tau sa kwar2.
Inday: wAt? r u nuts? 4 ur n4mati0n sir I intend 2 reserve my viRginity 4 d person I truly lUv. f u think im an easy 2 get,cheap, slut.well,ur barking at d wr0ng tree & wil u pls act like a pr0fesSional bc0z ur s0 eEwWw.
Char lng siR, tara! excited nAkOh! Hehehe!

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Tcher:ok claz, r
leson 4 2dy s
abwt planets.
Earth s d 3rd
planet frm d Sun.Nw,wat s nxt 2 Mercury?


benben: murag
Rose Pharmacy
mn tingali mam!d lng q sure ha! Hahahahaha!

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ALONE?
i'm here for you.

iN LOVE?
i'm happy for you.

HURT?
you may cry on my shoulders.

NEED HUG?
my arms are yours.

NEED MONEY?
wala si
"*** "
umalis!
may ginagawa!
lumayas!
naglilinis!
may trabaho!
tulog!
nag'abroad!
'di ko alam kung kailan babalik!
hindi n'ya number 'to!
hu u?haha

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kuba: tinu2kso nila akng kuba! makapagaral nga ng karate.

5 m0nths l8ter

frend: gling m0ng magkarate ah.tnatawag kp rn b nilang kuba.?


kuba: hndi na, ninja turtle na!

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Nagtanong ang teacher kay juan
Teacher:juan anung hayop ang nagsisimula sa letter k
Juan:mam kuto po
Teacher:hindi!! nagtatapos ito sa letter w
Juan:mam alam ko na kutow
Teacher:hindi!! Pang lupa ito
Juan:mam alam ko na po kutow lupa
Teacher:hindi!! May sungay toh
Juan:mam dimonyong kutow

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Berto: kamusta assignment?



Ricardo: masama, wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper pinasa ko!



Berto: Naku ako rin! Paano 'yan , iisipin ni Ma'am nagkopyahan tayo!

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Mrs: Bakit ka basa ng basa sa d'yan sa marriage contract natin?



Mr: (di pinansin si mrs)



Mrs: O! Ano ba kasi hnahanap mo r'yan?





Mr: Naman! Tinitingnan ko lang kung may expiration date!

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4 TYPES OF JEJEMONS:

MILD- eOw pU. mxTAh pOeh.

MODERATE- eOw pfOw. nAh m1sZ pfOu qtAh. MwAhxx!

SEVERE- 30w Po3h! anOh pO3h gWa U?
TxT nA LhErN pO3h zhA giZing pFa!

TERMINAL JEJEMONS- 30w pOEh. m3N4
p!pOL! nUa m1Xz aOh pHoU k3o! jejeje


-OMG.save the planet! Hehe

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A Love Story
"TEXT"


Boy: Di ko na kaya 'tong gngwa mo sken eh. Lagi na lang! Sa lhat nlang ng ssbhn mo, nhhirapan aq. I'm sorry babe,
I just can't take it anymore. Sobrang pagod na akong intndihin ka. :(










Girl: ,,bvHeiiB aNoUh bV4h 3An6 pN46xx4b1h mOuH ?? di cKitAh mA1NtiNd1hAn !! aNoUh bV4Ng NuAg4w4h QoUh x3oH !!
bV4T k4h nKk1pAg bVr3Yk xK3n ?! pFuaG uXz4P4N nhU4T3N to !! JUJUJU !! T_T

Boy: JEJEMON ka!

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BOY:dba matalino ka?

GIRL: Oo Naman.
















BOY: Eh bakit hndi mo ako kayang sagutin?

(Haha! Naks.. Pero w8 meron pa)







GIRL:Kasi nga matalino ako, at alam kong hndi ikaw ang tamang sagot..

hmm?

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Kpag pinipilit ka ng parents mo na umamin sa kasalanan mo,



e2 dpt mong sabihin,





"No person shall be compelled to be a witness against himself."

-PHILIPPINE C0NSTITUTI0N-
Article III,
Secti0n 17. Right Against Self- Incriminati0n


Safe k n, n0sebleed pa cla,
Hahahah. .

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Pag c Pacman
nanalo s elekxn,
magpptayo
xa ng skul.

Pacquiao
University

n sh0rt.....

PAC U!

At ang twag
s mga
s2jante,



PACQERS.

haha..


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