Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 26

Cheap Lacoste Shirts for Christmas!!! order now!!!

--------------------

kung totoo ang "Darwin's theory of evolution" na ang tao ay namula sa unggoy

Bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo???
Baka another theory noh???

--------------------

did you know that
-cockroaches have fingers and nails??
-rats can cure diabetes??
-ballpens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas??
-the saliva of a horse is used in making cheese??

galing noh??
Lahat yan imbento ko lang... hahahaha

--------------------

Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth.

What did u read?? My pen is in her mouth.

or did your dirty mind read something else???

--------------------

Boy: musta???
Girl: k lang. kaw?
Boy:k lang din. hehehe.
Girl:hehehe..

sa Globe Unlitxt, walang kuwenta ang usapan. hahahaha

--------------------

Amo: mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. ang sinomang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko
palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito!!! klaro ba??
Inday: ang mga namutawi sa iyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iimbak sa sulog ng aking balintataw,
sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. tatalikdin ang matayog
at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasabitin ang aking sangkalooban

inday scores again!!!

--------------------

health tips based on research:
headache-eat fish
fever-yogurt
prevent stroke-tea
insomnia-honey
asthma-onions
arthritis-fish
upset stomach-banana and ginger
bladder infxn-cranberry juice
bone problem-pineapple
premenstrual syndrome-cornflakes
memory problem-oyster
colds-garlic
cough-red pepper

Broken heart??

COLT45!!!
Todo Lakas!!!
--------------------

a blackman, a whiteguy, and a pinoy were in the bar when a sexy lady comes up and says,
"whoever can use the words liver and cheese with style will be my date tonight"

White: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me
Black: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love you
Pinoy: hey, you two!!! Liver alone!!! Cheese mine!!! yeh!!!

--------------------

the pinoy love
as if walang pakialam pero deep inside worried na.. miss na miss na...
pero nagtext.. so what?? daw pero later magrereply din naman...
pa-erase-erase pa ng number kunwari pero.. hello.. memorize naman yung number...
kapag hindi tinitxt ng mahal niya kunwari na wrowrong send para magpapansin...
ayaw magtxt pero nagtatanong sa barkada ng mahal niya kung kumusta na...

hay... Love nga naman sa Pinas oh.. Pang adik!!!

---------------------
Musta ang lovelife???


... eto self supporting!!!
---------------------

kadalasan, binabase ng mga girls sa itsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy...
pero hindi dapat ganun...
hindi nmn sa mukha nakikita yun eh...
kundi sa loob...
ng brief.. hehehe...

---------------------

bakit walang kitchen ang motel???


dahil sa kama pa lang eat all you can na!!!

---------------------

Pinoy Jokes from 0915321****, 0915298****,0906623****, 0915673****

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 25

Cheap Lacoste Shirt for Sale


------------------


Roses for lovers,
chocolates for crushes
balloons for friendships
most of all,
for loveless

red...

REDHORSE..

-----------

A man killed a DEER and cooked it but doesnt tell the kids what it is

he gives a clue

"ganyan ang tawag ng Mama nyo sa akin"

the girl cries out,
"wag nyong kainin.. demonyo yan!!!!"

------------

Who said fill in the blank is easy???

Sige ikaw nga...try natin.. fill this blank with YES or NO...

___________, i am not a normal person.

-------------

isipin mo palagi ako nandito sa likod mo
mahulog ka man sa hukay huwag ka matakot hindi ka nag-iisa
hindi man kita kayang hilahin pataas
kaya ko naman sumigaw ng
"help, look oh, nahulog siya!!! Soo engot kasi!!!!"

-------------

gusto kong sabihing masaya ako para sa inyo..
pero nasasaktan ako... puwede bang wag na siya.. ako na lang... ako na lang ulit...


ONE MORE CHANCE - John lloyd at bea showing na!!!

--------------

a cardiologist was buried in a heart shaped coffin. one of the doctors laughed.
when asked why he said..

im just thinkin about my coffin

im a gynecologist

---------------

Son: dad, may confess ako.. bakla ako.. huwag mo akong bugbugin please..
dad: ssshhhh!!wit ka loud baka ma-hear tayo ng mudra mez!! kapag 2 lang tayo, carry mo akong tawaging mother

---------------

eto pa ang isa sa mga mababangis na banat.

hi ano gawa mo???

gusto mo gawa tayo???

Lupet!!!

--------------
Tatay:anak, gising na at kakain na tayo.. hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam
Anak:talaga tay!!!
Tatay: hulaan mo.. mag CHOP sa dulo??
Anak:aha!!! porkchop tay!! paborito ko yun eh!!!
Tatay: ketchop anak.. sige kain ka na...
--------------



Pinoy Jokes from 0915298****, 0915673****, 0920619****, 0929222****, 0917619****, 0917492****

Pinoy Jokes and Funny SMS Text Messages 24

sakaling dumating ang
oras na umiiyak ka,
huwag kang magdadalawang
isip na magtxt or tawagan ako
dahil ibibili kita ng ice cream
tsaka lobo tapos hindi
natin sila bati... :)

----------------------------

i hope ok ka lang today... umiiyak ako ngayon.. i have a big problem..
txt ako sa yo to ask for your help.. can u help we with my problem??



paano ba mag-ihaw ng YELO???

----------------------------

Patient: Doc i have problem but promise you wont laugh

(drops his pants and shows the tiniest penis ever)

doc trying not to laugh: Ok whats the problem

Patient: namamaga po eh

-----------------------------

Konting pampam lan...

Use DEDICATE in a sentence...
kapag ginamitan mo yan ng glue for sure DEDICATE yan...

How about CONTINUE..
kahapon ang dami dami nyo bakit ngayon ang CONTINUE....

idagdag pa natin ang VIOLET...
Naholdap yung cellphone ko.. hindi bale.. i'll VIOLET...

eto pa,
OPINION...
papasok ka sa pinto kung OPINION..

eh ang CONCLUSION...
siyempre, hindi ka naman makakapasok sa pintuan kung CONCLUSION...

-------------------------------

Guy1: Pare parang i love you...

Guy 2: stop it pare!!!

just prove it!!!!

-------------------------------

No matter how strong we hold on still there comes a time that we suddenly fall...


---- butiki

-------------------------------

Masarap daw maging single
1. plagi gumigimik
2. puwede uminom palagi
3. walang nangingialam sa iyo
4. nagagawa mo lahat
5. puwede mong i-date kahit sino

pero pagkatpos ng kasiyahan at nag-iisa ka na. masaya pa rin kaya??

masaya ang single pero mas masaya kung pag-uwi mo may taong naghihintay sa yo at magsasabing

"hubad na!!! sabik na sabik na ako sa iyo!!!"

-------------------------------

whats worse than finding a worm in the apple you are eating???

kapag nakita mong kalahati na lang yung worm!!!!

-------------------------------

Things you dont want to hear during your own surgery
1. saan yung gunting na bago???bakit may kalawang na ito??
2. 10ml??? may nakasurvive na ba dyan?? sabi ko 5ml lang!!!
3. doc, ubos na po pala yung anestisya
4. kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan na yung pantahi!!!
5. Sunog!!!! sunog!!! labas na kayong lahat!!! sunog !!! sunog!!!

kumusta naman yan!!!

-------------------------------

Pare1: pare bakit ka tulala!!
Pare2: asawa ko naghire ng driver guwapo, bata at macho
Pare1: bakit?? selos ka??
Pare2: hindi naman, shocked lang ako.. parang masarap siya!!!

-------------------------------
This is very interesting. dagdag kaalaman din ito.

Chorva has its etymology from the greek word CHEORVAMUS meaning " for lack of the right word to say or in place of something
you want to express but you cannot verbalize"

amazing isn't it??

naniwala ka naman.. Chorva lang yun!!!

-------------------------------

May ari: hoy!!! Huling huli kita!!! ikaw pala nagnanakaw ng niyog ko!! bumaba ka dyan!!!

Magnanakaw: huli kung huli!!! hindi yung ginugulat mo pa ako!!! eh paano kung mahulog ako dito!!! pakyu!!!

-------------------------------

alam mo ba kung bakit hulog ka ng langit??

kasi


bawal ka dun!!!

-------------------------------

A nun riding a taxi
Driver: i'd like to ask a favor if i may, sister i've always fantasized kissing a nun
nun: ok but first you have to be a catholic, 2nd you have to be single
taxi driver: i am both catholic and single
so the nun fulfills the taxi driver fantasy and kiss him
driver: thank you but i must confess.. i lied to you.. i am married and im a muslim
Nun: thats ok.. im on my way to a costume party and my real name is BOYET!!!

-------------------------------

Pinoy Jokes from 0920619****, 0906234****, 0927319****